Karen P Farmer AIFD

Doing it by the Dozen:
Project 1; Attempt 1 (I think this is going to take multiple tries)
Doing something I told myself I can’t

I am, pretty much for the most part, your typical country girl. I wear a dress to church on Sunday; I eat black eyed peas on New Years, well except for once and that’s why I eat black eyed peas on New Years; I say “yes ma’am” and “No Sir” to anyone older that myself (or anyone held in higher regard, which these days is just about everyone) (darn, I’m getting old). And I know what it feels like to be “so mad I could spit”. There is only one thing I’m not that the proverbial “Southern Wife/Mother” is and that’s a good cook.

Don’t get me wrong, my family hasn’t starved, I can cook, but I make a lot of what my family calls “Momster Meals”. I try not to take it personal. I’m what you might call a “creative cook”. My mother was a Home Economics teacher and all I know are the basics of how to cook and sew. I can boil water, turn on a stove or oven, build a fire, turn on a sewing machine and make simple things (no zippers please, it will have to have a drawstring). I think my mother thought that since she was so good at what she did I would gain the knowledge by osmosis. Well, I didn’t and I find it very difficult to cook from a recipe. I never have all the ingredients and I’m usually at a pivotal point in cooking, when I discover a): I don’t have a particular ingredient, or b): I don’t have enough of it. So…….I make it up! Is that so bad? The only draw back I have found is that if the family does like it I can’t remember how I made it. Which brings me to my first “Doing it by the Dozen” project.

I went with my mother (who I by the way I ADORE) to see her sister and her oldest son who we haven’t seen in, well, years. We walk in the “back door” which is really the side/back door because the front of the house faces a river. Told you……country. Aunt Olive is in the kitchen cooking, feverishly, as she always does. She comes over, and I know what’s next…..the cheek pinch. Yep, that’s right, my Aunt pinches my cheeks and she is the ONLY one on this planet that is allowed to do that. As she has a firm grip on my face and shakes ever so slightly she says in her most sweet, southern drawl “Awe, little Kaaaaareeeen (insert southern accent with drawl) I am making your faaaavrite”. Well Hell, there goes the New Years resolution! They are my favorite! I have tried several times to make them and mine are never anything like Aunt Olives. So I say, “Aunt Olive, I wish I could make those as good as you do, but I can’t. I have tried and tried, but mine are awful.” Lizzie, my second cousin pointed out that it may the skillet. Awe, Lizzie, you angel, I bet that’s it. My iron skillet isn’t as “cured” as hers. That has to be the problem. I will go home and cook more cornbread and get my skillet “juiced up”. Aunt Olive gives her encouraging word of “Oh sweetie, I’m sure they aren’t that bad”. And I’m standing there thinking “Um, Yeah, they are that bad” I of course wouldn’t’ tell her that they were so bad my kids took one bite and didn’t politely decline, they dropped/threw them back on the plate and had to make a scene of spitting and spewing along with sound effects and distorted facial antics.” And this from the children I was in the process of raising to become “polite, charming, southern ladies” I can only hope they don’t behave that way in public when they taste something undesirable.

I may never be able to get them to try one again, but I have found my project. And this one is for ME; as long as I find them successful then they will be called “a success”. Today is the day; I got up and was ready to put on my apron! That is if I can find the darn thing, do I even have an apron? Oh well, moving on; I am going to give Aunt Olives “Butter Biscuits” another try. There is no recipe for these sweet morsels of Heaven; maybe that’s a good sign for a creative cook like myself. Apparently, my grandmother used to make these, I never had Maw Maw’s (at least that I remember), and my mother certainly never made them (I think I may Know why), but I have watched Aunt Olive and I have a renewed sense of hope. I can do this; it’s easy. I am going to make them just like I’ve seen Aunt Olive do, exactly to the non-recipe recipe.

Ok, biscuit batter? Bisquick-Check; Skillet? (It must be iron) Check; Butter? Check; sugar? Check; Brown sugar? Check; Vanilla? Check; Coco? Uh, ………. Coco? Uh, will Hershey’s Kisses do? Why not? Aren’t they made with coco, they are chocolate, lets give it a try. See? This is why I am a “creative cook”. I think I’m ready to give it a go. I mix the batter according to the Bisquick package and I am prepared that if these don’t turn out it’s the batters fault. Who makes biscuits from scratch anymore anyway? Oh, yea, my Aunt Olive that’s who. I was so excited and anxious that I, at first, forgot to knead the dough, but no worries; I caught that pretty quickly and went back to step 2 on the Bisquick box. Okay, so far so good, they look pretty much the way I think they should, and now for the tricky part, how much butter, sugar, coco/kisses and vanilla do I use? Well, lucky for me you can never have too much of a good thing. Let’s see if this works, I will put in what I think the proportions should be and then add more. That’s my “Paula Dean” move. The oven is preheated; skillet is ready, and my biscuits look pretty good; here it goes try number 1.

I hope I set the temperature right. How long is this supposed to take? Why did I do this? If they are a success I will start making and eating them all the time. No, No, No I won’t I will make them for the grandchildren that I don’t have yet. I just need to perfect them and WRITE IT DOWN so that my kids can make them for their nieces and nephews. I guess I should have written today’s try down in case they are good. Uh Oh, I don’t remember Olives being so brown on the top. Foil, Foil that should do it, I will cover the areas that are getting too brown with a small strip of foil. Whew, that was close. Gee, how long do these things take?

Finally! After 25 minutes of pacing and looking I think they are done! And they look huge!!!!! Note to self, cut the dough in half next time and make them a little smaller, they don’t look like biscuits, they look like loafs. Ok, here goes nothing, the taste test. Hummmmmm, well, not bad. Not bad at all! They are actually pretty good. By George, I think I’ve done it! Wait, uh, yea, I see why you don’t want to use a Hershey Kiss, I mean It’s still tasty, but the chocolate didn’t melt all through the sugar gooey goodness. Although they are by no means perfect, they are, what I would deem, a success. I can say, now with certainty, I can make “Aunt Olives Butter Biscuits”. Next time I will try it with canned biscuits and the real coco not kisses.

Happy New Year! It’s hard to believe that 2012 is here! I welcome it with open arms, an open heart and with great anticipation. It is going to be a wonderful year, with many exciting things happening and I’m ready to get it started!
As for 2012, My personal goal (not resolution because, frankly, those never work out for me) is to “Do it by the Dozen”. I will do 12 things each month to make myself a better wife, mother, florist/artist and person in general.
For the next 12 months I will make a quick (because I don’t have time to linger) evaluation of myself and list 12 ways to better myself and/or those around me. For instance, in January I will-and not necessarily in this order: (#1) make meals for a friend and her family who has become incapacitated; (#2) I will do at least one thing that I tell myself I can’t do. (#3) get my laundry room organized so that it is cute, accessible, and no longer the catch all and most dreaded room in the house. (#4) Make myself a flower arrangement every week and not put it off or sell it to someone else. I am famous for selling the arrangement that I have made for myself and then when it’s time to go home I’m too tired to make another one, or the flowers I really wanted are gone. No more!!!! I’m a customer too!!!! (#5) I will make time to write a letter to one person a week (that’s 4 letters, 4 people in one month -definitely doable!). (#6) I will make it a point to meet one new neighbor. As a florist, I leave for work early, I come home late, I’m tired, “peopled” out and just want to chill when I get home. My family just moved into a new neighborhood and other than the neighbors on the left and right, I know no one! (#7) I will take flowers to my local nursing home and spend one hour visiting with someone that doesn’t get visitors. (#8) I will invite someone I don’t know very well to dinner. (#9) I will read a book, from start to finish. As I was saying, we moved.......can I tell you how many books I found with bookmarks about 1/4th of the way in. I will pick one each month and read it! (#10) Write my husband a love letter. (#11) scan at least one box of pictures of my children into the computer each month (I only have about a million---boxes, and many more pictures). And (#12) do something each week unexpected for a total stranger, such as give them a flower, buy them a cup of coffee, pay for their lunch, or whatever strikes my fancy. I will keep you posted as to my progress. Wish me luck!!!!! Oh, and my resolution?......Lose weight of course