THE Wedding

The Beautiful Bride

Collierville United Methodist Church

Do Something I tell myself I can't

Doing it by the Dozen:
Project 1; Attempt 1 (I think this is going to take multiple tries)
Doing something I told myself I can’t


I am, pretty much for the most part, your typical country girl. I wear a dress to church on Sunday; I eat black eyed peas on New Years, well except for once and that’s why I eat black eyed peas on New Years; I say “yes ma’am” and “No Sir” to anyone older that myself (or anyone held in higher regard, which these days is just about everyone) (darn, I’m getting old). And I know what it feels like to be “so mad I could spit”. There is only one thing I’m not that the proverbial “Southern Wife/Mother” is and that’s a good cook.

Don’t get me wrong, my family hasn’t starved, I can cook, but I make a lot of what my family calls “Momster Meals”. I try not to take it personal. I’m what you might call a “creative cook”. My mother was a Home Economics teacher and all I know are the basics of how to cook and sew. I can boil water, turn on a stove or oven, build a fire, turn on a sewing machine and make simple things (no zippers please, it will have to have a drawstring). I think my mother thought that since she was so good at what she did I would gain the knowledge by osmosis. Well, I didn’t and I find it very difficult to cook from a recipe. I never have all the ingredients and I’m usually at a pivotal point in cooking, when I discover a): I don’t have a particular ingredient, or b): I don’t have enough of it. So…….I make it up! Is that so bad? The only draw back I have found is that if the family does like it I can’t remember how I made it. Which brings me to my first “Doing it by the Dozen” project.

I went with my mother (who I by the way I ADORE) to see her sister and her oldest son who we haven’t seen in, well, years. We walk in the “back door” which is really the side/back door because the front of the house faces a river. Told you……country. Aunt Olive is in the kitchen cooking, feverishly, as she always does. She comes over, and I know what’s next…..the cheek pinch. Yep, that’s right, my Aunt pinches my cheeks and she is the ONLY one on this planet that is allowed to do that. As she has a firm grip on my face and shakes ever so slightly she says in her most sweet, southern drawl “Awe, little Kaaaaareeeen (insert southern accent with drawl) I am making your faaaavrite”. Well Hell, there goes the New Years resolution! They are my favorite! I have tried several times to make them and mine are never anything like Aunt Olives. So I say, “Aunt Olive, I wish I could make those as good as you do, but I can’t. I have tried and tried, but mine are awful.” Lizzie, my second cousin pointed out that it may the skillet. Awe, Lizzie, you angel, I bet that’s it. My iron skillet isn’t as “cured” as hers. That has to be the problem. I will go home and cook more cornbread and get my skillet “juiced up”. Aunt Olive gives her encouraging word of “Oh sweetie, I’m sure they aren’t that bad”. And I’m standing there thinking “Um, Yeah, they are that bad” I of course wouldn’t’ tell her that they were so bad my kids took one bite and didn’t politely decline, they dropped/threw them back on the plate and had to make a scene of spitting and spewing along with sound effects and distorted facial antics.” And this from the children I was in the process of raising to become “polite, charming, southern ladies” I can only hope they don’t behave that way in public when they taste something undesirable.

I may never be able to get them to try one again, but I have found my project. And this one is for ME; as long as I find them successful then they will be called “a success”. Today is the day; I got up and was ready to put on my apron! That is if I can find the darn thing, do I even have an apron? Oh well, moving on; I am going to give Aunt Olives “Butter Biscuits” another try. There is no recipe for these sweet morsels of Heaven; maybe that’s a good sign for a creative cook like myself. Apparently, my grandmother used to make these, I never had Maw Maw’s (at least that I remember), and my mother certainly never made them (I think I may Know why), but I have watched Aunt Olive and I have a renewed sense of hope. I can do this; it’s easy. I am going to make them just like I’ve seen Aunt Olive do, exactly to the non-recipe recipe.

Ok, biscuit batter? Bisquick-Check; Skillet? (It must be iron) Check; Butter? Check; sugar? Check; Brown sugar? Check; Vanilla? Check; Coco? Uh, ………. Coco? Uh, will Hershey’s Kisses do? Why not? Aren’t they made with coco, they are chocolate, lets give it a try. See? This is why I am a “creative cook”. I think I’m ready to give it a go. I mix the batter according to the Bisquick package and I am prepared that if these don’t turn out it’s the batters fault. Who makes biscuits from scratch anymore anyway? Oh, yea, my Aunt Olive that’s who. I was so excited and anxious that I, at first, forgot to knead the dough, but no worries; I caught that pretty quickly and went back to step 2 on the Bisquick box. Okay, so far so good, they look pretty much the way I think they should, and now for the tricky part, how much butter, sugar, coco/kisses and vanilla do I use? Well, lucky for me you can never have too much of a good thing. Let’s see if this works, I will put in what I think the proportions should be and then add more. That’s my “Paula Dean” move. The oven is preheated; skillet is ready, and my biscuits look pretty good; here it goes try number 1.

I hope I set the temperature right. How long is this supposed to take? Why did I do this? If they are a success I will start making and eating them all the time. No, No, No I won’t I will make them for the grandchildren that I don’t have yet. I just need to perfect them and WRITE IT DOWN so that my kids can make them for their nieces and nephews. I guess I should have written today’s try down in case they are good. Uh Oh, I don’t remember Olives being so brown on the top. Foil, Foil that should do it, I will cover the areas that are getting too brown with a small strip of foil. Whew, that was close. Gee, how long do these things take?

Finally! After 25 minutes of pacing and looking I think they are done! And they look huge!!!!! Note to self, cut the dough in half next time and make them a little smaller, they don’t look like biscuits, they look like loafs. Ok, here goes nothing, the taste test. Hummmmmm, well, not bad. Not bad at all! They are actually pretty good. By George, I think I’ve done it! Wait, uh, yea, I see why you don’t want to use a Hershey Kiss, I mean It’s still tasty, but the chocolate didn’t melt all through the sugar gooey goodness. Although they are by no means perfect, they are, what I would deem, a success. I can say, now with certainty, I can make “Aunt Olives Butter Biscuits”. Next time I will try it with canned biscuits and the real coco not kisses.